Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Amongst other things-->getting help in coming to terms with Life. also known as losing Loved Ones
Most likely you've experienced the loss of a loved one(s), with perhaps a couple of them happening fairly close together. It's a messy, hurtful event, and in my case, it sometimes has revived the pain of losses experienced in the distant, or not so distant past. My most recent encounter with it started with a phone call on Sept 30 2012 from a family member, informing me that my older brother Paul Nyland was suddenly just gone, leaving behind a wife and 3 teenaged children. Getting through his funeral was near impossible, with many of us giving way to our tears uncontrollably. I guess the worst thing for me about it was the fact that my dad and sister's graves were in the immediate vicinity of where we buried him. That plus the fact that I gave his eulogy. Paul, you were someone I admired, and always stood a little in awe of.
Back at home, before my brother's death, we had been seeing commercials for the Voice. My girls were impressed with the finale for S2, and are fans of Christine Aguilera. I came home from my brother's funeral on Aug 11, pretty down as you can imagine. Spent Sunday not doing really anything, and Monday night the girls turned on the Blind Auditions although we were not really expecting anything interesting to happen. Onto the stage strode a guy with an interesting haircut(instantly sparked a debate between me and my girls-- I loved his hair, they were confused), a pair of jeans and a black leather jacket. By the end of the first line, I knew somebody special had walked out, and was on tenterhooks until the last notes of the song. We vocalized our concern, wondering what was keeping the judges from turning around. Thankfully for me they did because otherwise I may not have proceeded to research Terry McDermott on the 'Net. Wow, what a close call. Terry later said he didn't know the judges had turned around until he had finished that last note!!
I had been on Soundcloud during the summer, looking for new artists. When Terry appeared again the following week-singing Carry on Wayward Son with Casey Muessigman, I looked him up on a whim; soon discovering his former band Lotus Crush. I discovered he wrote songs that spoke to the issues we all deal with love, loss, as well as just living! First song of his I ever listened to on Soundcloud was Strawberry Girl, which quickly became a favourite. The more I researched the more songs I found, and the first band Terry fronted, Driveblind. The songs spoke to me at a deep level, soothing the pain. I found I had discovered an artist with a poet's heart, who radiated the type of stage presence that has been in short supply in the mainstream music scene as of late, IMHO.
I quickly became a follower on Twitter (@TerryMacMusic) and an ardent supporter on the Voice(rabidly so I'm afraid!). I know my brother would've approved of his versions of Maybe I'm Amazed, Summer of 69, and the rest! Listening to Terry brought back the memories of our youth, and I will forever be grateful that whenever I have missed Paul these past 6 months, I have been able to find comfort in a variety of places including Terry's music. Maybe the Voice was too much hype and not enough substance for some tastes, but I think it was the distraction I needed to get me past those first few months without my brother. I really believe he would've liked Driveblind and Lotus Crush!
I've come to deeply LOVE songs such as Autumn Red in particular, and In my Veins, and My Love will remain and when he sings Is forever enough I admit I cry. Just can't imagine going through the last 6 months of losing 2 family members and a dear friend, without them. I struggle not to be maudlin or overly sentimental, hoping it's just me, trying to be honest and in touch with my feelings.
So do you see the point of this post? It's just my way of marveling at the amazing way things happen sometimes, and as Terry himself has said before, everything seems to happen for a reason. I'm truly thankful for the show. I plan on playing Terry's music at loved one's gravesides and I know there will sporadically be new songs of Terry's to play there. The story isn't over yet, because as much as those we have lost are behind us in our past, they are also with us in so many ways, and celebrating the love they have shared with us becomes part of the healing process of grief.
To those reading who have lost loved ones, I highly recommend Terry's songs!
I dedicate this post to my dad, Eugene Nyland, my beloved sister, Marnie and my dear brother Paul! Love you!